Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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