yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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