Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
