got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
