ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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