please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
