is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
