i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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