I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
