I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Liz is crying about burritos again.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
