I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
