Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
