it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
