this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
