and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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