I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
