After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
