The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
