I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
