I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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