I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
