Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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