His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I party with great urgency now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
