i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
