When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
even my farts smell like vagina
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Damn victory sex feels great
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
