how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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