And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
