I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's rum buckets o'clock
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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