Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
