talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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