Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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