you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
