"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
