He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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