I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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