Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
