Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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