laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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