ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
