Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
