Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
