my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
