i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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