I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
