I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
