I seem to have left my pride at pride
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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