Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
