Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
