he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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