i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
