I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
