Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
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